


Craig vs The Old God

by lordjenjen



Series: Father Tucker [2]
Category: South Park
Genre: Craig is back at it again, M/M, this time he tries to take on cthulu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-08 04:28:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14097216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lordjenjen/pseuds/lordjenjen
Summary: Father Tucker is summoned to the McCormick residence to help their son.





	Craig vs The Old God

Craig vs The Old God

***

House calls were nothing new to Father Tucker, he'd even felt like he'd heard it all at this point. However, it seemed like the McCormicks were not your usual. They had heard about his work with a few people in South Park and wanted to ask him to cleanse their son. He said he would see what could be done and made his way to the house of one Kenny McCormick. 

“You really think you can cleanse me?” Kenny snorted. “Did they tell you? Did they explain what they did?” The man did very possible little to cover the bitterness in his voice. “Of course they didn't. They are too ashamed of what happened to tell anyone.”

“Well, why don't you tell me then?” 

Kenny was quiet as he stared down Craig. The priest knew this tactic. The man was more than just judging him, he was seeing if he could take Craig on in a spiritual battle. 

“Alright,  _ Father _ .” Kenny grinned a little as he leaned back on his couch. “My parents went to a cult’s meetings for free beer. The result was me and my inability to stay dead. I could show you, but you wouldn't remember.”

“It's all right,  _ son. _ ” That seemed to get a little smile from the man. “I believe you. I can attempt to remove the curse from you though. Depending on the strength of the entity in question, it may completely remove it or barely do a thing.”

“And how would you do that?” 

“By performing a cleansing ritual I picked up during my time abroad.”

Kenny shrugged his shoulders. “Why not? Worse thing that happens is I die and come back to life.”

“Good. We'll do this now. Strip.”

Kenny leaned forward and gave the priest a seductive look. “Strip? Are you coming onto me, Father Tucker?”

Craig resisted smiling or making a remark about what he would be doing. Kenny wasn't too far off. “You need to be naked for the ritual.”

“I normally charge for this.” Kenny stood and took off his shirt. 

“I am well aware of that.” Craig was glad he was a man of the cloth. The things he heard about Kenny McCormick in confession would make even Satan himself blush. He could see why so many people came to confession about the acts they had performed with the man. He was much to be desired. 

If Craig was in to that sort of thing.

This was purely professional. A cleanse.

“I'm sure you've heard that and much more about me.” Kenny tossed his shirt over the back of the couch, eyes never leaving Craig's.

“I have heard many things. Yes.”

“And yet, you are here.”

“Mary Magdalene was a prostitute, yet Jesus kept her by his side.”

“Mary was a sweetheart and an actual disciple. The Catholic Church turned her into nothing more than a whore to discredit her and all women.” Kenny threw his pants next to his shirt and stood before Craig in just his underwear. “Are we going to do this here or should we move somewhere more comfortable, like the bedroom?”

“Are you more comfortable in the bedroom?” 

Kenny shrugged. “Depending on what you're planning, it might be best.” The man motioned for Craig to follow him.

He grabbed his bag and followed Kenny down the short hallway. He was a little taken back by Kenny's luxurious bedroom. The blonde flopped down on top of his plush comforter, sending a few decorative pillows off the bed.

“Alright. What does this entail?”

Craig lit a single candle and set it on Kenny's dresser. Next he grabbed a bag of flower petals. He'd found a way to keep them fresh by vacuum sealing them and keeping them cool. He tore open the bag and sprinkled some around Kenny. The man picked up a petal, feeling it, before setting it back down. 

“You need to be completely naked.” Craig pulled off Kenny's underwear to reveal what could only be described as a gorgeous cock. It was strangely perfect to Craig, as if magic was used to create the man. 

For the first time in his 26 years on Earth, Father Tucker wondered if he was getting into something he couldn't pray his way out of. 

Craig mentally shook the negatives thoughts from his head and got to work. He grabbed his holy water lube and stroke Kenny's dick to life. He was thrown off a little by the man's lack of protest. Instead, he just laid back and enjoyed what was being done to him. Once fully erect, Craig moved onto the next thing, he lubed up his finger and thrust it into Kenny.

“You can just fuck me.”

“I could. But that's not what's happening here.”

“Surely feels like it, Father Tucker.”

Craig withdrew his fingers and grabbed his blessed plug, slowing inserting it into Kenny. The man let out a little moan as his hole closed around the base. Next he picked up his cleansing oils and began messaging them into every inch of Kenny's body. 

“Feels good but kind if tingles. Good tingles.”

“As it should.”

Craig noticed Kenny's body had a slight glow to it, making him more appealing, a want with in Craig began to try to take over. Craig began to pray in Latin, hoping to repel the entity and Kenny's powers a bit. The man had more than just the power of immortality. 

Having gained control again, Craig began the next part, he knew the risks or what he was about to I do, but if it meant saving a soul, he would do it. Craig lubed up his own ass before doing the same to Kenny's dick.

“At least use a condom!” Kenny yelled and stopped Craig from taking his dick. 

“Sorry, if you want this gone you have to transfer it to me and I can go and cleanse myself.”

“What a shitty ass excuse. Use a fucking condom.”

Craig should have suspected something like this from a man like Kenny McCormick. He hoped the cleansing would still work. Craig grabbed the demanded blessed condom and rolled it onto Kenny’s awaiting dick. He began his prayer chant as he pulled up his robes, and lowered himself onto Kenny.

Father Tucker was shocked as a moan was ripped from his throat. He’d never felt something this good. This pleasurable. He knew it was just the dark forces at work, enhancing the pleasure, trying to distract him from his work. With Kenny’s dick fully within him, Craig began moving, picking up his chant. He did his best to ignore the intense feeling of pleasure running through his body.

The feeling of pleasure was mutual though. Kenny's own face showed not only that he was feeling good, but the slight confusion suggested he'd never felt this good. Whatever force was behind it was affecting Kenny as well. And was strong. 

He could see both of Kenny's hands on his thighs, feel them, yet there was the unmistakable feeling of someone stroking his own erection. It was doing it's best to get him to come soon, before he could complete the ritual.

And this time it might win.

Craig stilled and leaned over, pressing his mother to Kenny's. The instant the other man's tongue touched his own, he knew he'd made a mistake. A feeling ran through his body, enhancing every touch and making it pleasure able. The feeling of his modest cotton robes on his skin felt like the fine Peruvian fabric used to drape his body before he was tough their ways of exorcism. The warmth from Kenny's hands were as pleasurable as his nights alone long ago, of self-exploration when he was becoming a man.

But touching his lips to Kenny's wasn't his mistake.

Being too cocky was. 

He should have checked before starting. He should have asked what cult had swayed his parents. He should have known no low level demon could make him feel this good.

“Cthulhu. You have part of Cthulhu in you.” Craig knew he sounded breathless.

“Yeah,” Kenny whispered. “I know.”

“I can't-I can't get rid of Cthulhu. It is a part of you.”

“Once again, yeah, I know.”

And idea hit Craig. He may not be able to remove Cthulhu, but that was only part of it. Kenny was cursed and the curse he could remove. 

Craig quickly got off Kenny, grabbing for his bag.

“Why was that so intense?” Kenny asked as he reached for his own dick.

“Don't touch. We aren't done yet.”

“Oh?” Kenny stretched out, obviously being seductive. “You want more?”

“I may not be able to remove Cthulhu’s hold on you but I can remove your curse.”

“My curse?” Kenny said more serious than Craig had ever heard. 

“You die. A lot, don't you? That's your curse.” Craig pulled out the bottle he was looking for and an empty purified Mason jar and crawled back on top of Kenny.

He slowly sank himself back into the man's dick and popped the lid on the bottle, drizzling the oil mixture onto the man's chest into an intricate design. 

“Nnnnn god that's really warm.”

“Means it's working. Now I need you to focus on the pleasure.”

Craig began riding the man again, this time with the intent to force an orgasm. It wouldn't be difficult though. As soon as his hips raised a bit, his body was hit with a wave of pleasure. Kenny's as well. The man beneath him arched into him, meeting him on his decent. It quickly became a race to get off. The invisible force once again began playing with Craig. This time it was more than just his dick. It felt as if someone was running their hands everywhere, trying to find the most pleasurable points on his body.

It didn't take long for Craig to get close. He could feel Kenny was as well. He firmly grasped his cock and began stroking. 

His orgasm hit him with such force, he almost forgot what his purpose was. Carefully he aimed his semen to hit in the middle of his design. With the life force in the center, Craig began his chant, this time in a language long dead.

As Kenny came, pulling Craig down hard onto his dick, a dark energy was released from within him. The blonde watched, shocked as a cloud of green and pink exited his body. Craig acted quickly, grabbing the jar from beside them and capturing the entity before it had a chance to disperse.

They both stayed still for a moment, Craig trying to regain some stability in his legs before moving.

“That was amazing. Hands down best sex I’ve ever had. But this plug wasn’t meant for long wear.”

Father Tucker slowly got off Kenny and allowed him to remove the plug. Kenny stared at the design on the bottom of the plug for a moment before handing it to Craig.

“That thing that came out of me, can I keep it?”

Craig was silent as he thought over what Kenny was asking. Most people wouldn’t dream of keeping such a thing in there home. Evil in its purest form. The physical manifestation of a curse. And Kenny McCormick wanted to keep it. He surely was something different. 

Craig pulled seal and placed it over the jar and set it on Kenny’s dresser before blowing out the candle and beginning to pack up his stuff. He could feel the lingering presence of the entity living inside Kenny. It left a pleasurable electric feeling in the room. For a brief moment he considered another round with the man.

“Why do you do this?”

“It’s my purpose in life. To help those who need it.”

“Then who helps you?”

“God.” Craig slung his bag over his shoulder and stared down at Kenny.

The blonde had a petal in his hand, feeling the smoothness of it, almost like he was lost in thought. 

“Craig,” he was a little shocked Kenny knew his first name. Kenny was silent again. He could tell the man was contemplating what to say, blue eyes seemed to so full of emotions. “If you need to talk, I’m more than willing to listen. For free.”

Craig smiled a little. “Thank you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I had this wonderful ending I thought of while in the laundromat folding clothes. So naturally I forgot it the moment I could finish this up. But then I had an unfortunate number of endings that just didn't work, like telling him it's okay to be gay because he's going to hell either way.
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading it anyways. Feedback of any kind is always welcome. And for more garbage I have yet to figure out how to post here, [ check out my trufflr ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/lordjenjen-writes-trash)


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